youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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