Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
