8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
