she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
