I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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