She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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