i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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