and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
foreskin is a definite game changer
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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