I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
