Your tits are I can't wait for
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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