guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
