remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
