When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize