Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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