all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
