just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
