Nicole vs. Life
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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