Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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