I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
