He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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