i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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