dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
