How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
