u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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