Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
