He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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