Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize