I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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