it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
