Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
