She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
