Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
