just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I skipped work to stalk him.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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