so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
