please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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