I can text with my tongue
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
