Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
