i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
