I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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