...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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