I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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