Me too!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
