It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
