I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
