Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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