you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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