she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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