Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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