He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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