when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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