What a fucking waste of an outfit
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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