If i come over, it means nothing
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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