I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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