you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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