i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
