Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
