I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
