Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
