all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
