standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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