i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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