We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
