i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
